埃默里大学招生官公开6篇高水准申请文书+招生官点评,赶紧收藏!
来源:设计 2025年05月13日 12:24
My attention to details, like that elusive comma, does more than make me a good worker: it makes me a good communicator. I listen carefully to people, to details, and I think they matter. I like to share my own opinions through writing and photography, but more than that, I like to share the stories of others. This past summer, I had the opportunity to meet a number of community workers and write about them for the regional newspaper. I got to meet and tell the stories of a couple who owned one of the last free community pools and taught kids to swim without taking out a salary, and a woman in her twenty-second year of running a volunteer event which grants underprivileged children access to new clothes and school supplies. Being able to give these local heroes the spotlight they deserved was more rewarding than I could he ever expected.
What makes me unique is that I don’t just notice details, I care about them. I think clarity of communication is the most vital and most neglected aspect of a functional society. That is why I believe journalism and communication are important. You can’t move someone who is stuck in their ways by spouting facts and figures at them. You convince people by telling stories, stories that appeal to our shared humanity.
Reporting is community building, and we definitely need more of that in this day and age. By listening to details and sharing observations, I can sometimes help two people who were not able to find common ground see past their differences. I believe this is an important part of being on the newspaper staff and even of being a good friend. And that is why I care about communication, and by extension, the Oxford comma
五年制其职书评
作为五年制其职,我们有时偏爱将核发视为一个童话故事。核发的每一之外——履历、篇文章、念完——都之外都在朋友们,证明了了一个系统地的值得注意,概述每个的学生是谁,以及是什么在更为进一步和法学上期许了他们。
通过该的学生的核发,很完全一致的感受到的学生对新闻和写出书的渴望。
他能够利用像布里斯托尔引号疑虑这样却是的东西来背景所谓他们的劣势并详细阐述两个有意义的历程——作为学校报白纸的执行主笔和作为当地报白纸的实习生。
他才会像已经提供者的简历那样简单地列出他们的成就,也才会亲身历程一个单一的童话故事来断言他们的观点。他用作布里斯托尔引号无缝地藤条了一个叙述,从而使的学生的爱好变得生动起来。
这一段话尽力我们作为五年制委员会更为快地洞察核发人的整体情况。如果从未这一段话,这个的学生的童话故事将是不完整的。
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文稿二:亲身历程具原创性的事件
Essay究竟:Some students he a background, identity, interest, or talent so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, please share your story.
For the first three years of my life, my name was not Omar. In secret it was, but in secret was no way to live. To the world, I was decidedly to be a stranger to my own name. In public my family called me by a name eerily similar to mine: “Ammar.” I cried out and corrected them each time, only to be slapped on the mouth and sternly ordered to bite my tongue. Eyes wickedly stared on from behind the shadows, and slowly our public outings became less and less frequent, until my every request to play outside was decisively denied. I whined and begged, but the decision was as unyielding as their towering stance above me.
Only years later would I come to understand that they were merely protecting me from the encompassing shadows stalking behind. Only then would I come to understand the extent of the bitter religious clash between Islam’s two branches, Sunni and Shia.
Following the fall of Iraq in 2003, tensions turned deadly and rules ceased. Several names of religious significance effectively became death sentences. My name was one of those death sentences. I was marked by a conflict I was too young to comprehend.
Uncertainty turned to fear when the looming threat of violence came in the form of a death threat to my father. Soon, family and community members became targets of an inconceivable evil; a friend of the family was murdered for aiding displaced Sunni Iraqis; a bombing rocked my brother’s school and shattered his innocence into a million shards. We were targets, and my identity was a possible catalyst provoking evil into harming those protecting me from wicked eyes.
My family decided that remaining in Iraq was no longer an option. So, one day in 2006, under the cover of night, we took what little possessions we could carry into our cars and fled across the border. When complete disorder and conflict led to intensified bloodshed, our hopes of one day returning to our homeland were dashed and left broken.
Jordan became our new refuge; my name was returned to me, yet in the chaos and uncertainty, I had lost my country and people. I traded my home for a refuge. My accent, alien to the other children, drew in laughter. My nationality, different and frowned upon, resulted in new pairs of condescending eyes which gazed beyond my humanity towards my parents’ lives. Their grueling toil generated minimal income as perceptions of refugees engendered no empathy among the hiring class. I had within my grasp my own name, my identity, yet I felt more like a stranger than when I donned another name.
Ammar was human, I was not. Ammar had a home, I lost mine. Here, I had none but my family and they had none but me.
Years of acting out at home and school passed. Yet in 2013, a phone call from our cousins in America fundamentally changed my life: “Your UN file got accepted!” cheery faces announced, “We will be seeing you in a week.” The sheer excitement I felt at that moment was only contrasted with the sadness that overcame me two days before departure: sadness of a life unfinished. I had to move. Again.
Relocation had once disturbed my pursuit for identity. Now it does nothing short of offer me an opportunity to explore a future in which I set what defines my character.
We landed. On our way from the airport, I rested my head onto the window of the van and dreamed of what I hoped to accomplish. Despite the perversions suffered in Iraq and Jordan, I adapted. I can do it again. Yes, I lost my country and identity, but America ge me back both. I am about to become a US citizen: like Ammar, I now he a home – a home that is founded on identity and community.
五年制其职书评
我长期以来建议的学生个人他们的童话故事,无论是不遗余力的还是具原创性的,都应以最诚实的刺耳个人。
这份更为进一步概述探究了许多隐喻:国籍、多样性、诚实、持续性、变所谓,但最最主要的是,努力和乐观。这句话是心里的,但不是绝对劣势的情绪所谓。
它率队旁观者踏上全球历险,讲解具原创性的体验,同时也告诫我们第二次机会的意义。这份更为进一步概述的著者表明,坚韧和自信永远才会过时,归根结底,我们都努力有机会重新开始。
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文稿三:所写出你感爱好的东西
Essay究竟:Some students he a background, identity, interest, or talent so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, please share your story.
I found solace in poetry. Well, poetry recitation more precisely. Unconsciously, I he straddled a divide my whole life. My parents are immigrants, and when I started school, my parents and my peers made me aware of my differences. Unlike some of my peers, I had to act a certain way or prove I was capable of accomplishment to achieve greater opportunities. Naturally, I acclimated to my environment: I made friends with the white kids who hardly got in trouble, even though I looked different; I read and spoke exclusively English, even though Spanish came more naturally; at playtime, I would always make-believe that I married the princess, even though I would he liked just as much to he married a prince. I mastered the art of code-switching. In my mind, my vitality and my capacity to succeed in Not-Quite-Rural-But-Still-Agricultural Georgia hinged upon my presentation of palatability to my peers. Even still, I constantly obsess over my peers’ perceptions of me. Do I come off as too arrogant? Too overly-intellectual? Too “colorful”? Too silly and groundless? I work tirelessly to adjust for these possibilities.
Early on, I gritated toward poetry as a medium for expression. Each day, I adjusted myself more and more to fit the expectations which infused my small southern town. In public, though outwardly approachable, I critically yzed each move I made and word I spoke. In the literary arts, however, I could see things the way others saw them and identify myself with language that spoke directly to my experiences. In school, I was careful to never appear too Hispanic for fear of succumbing to a stereotype of being under-educated or uninformed; at home, never too flamboyant, lest my parents become suspicious that something is awry; always, never too outside-the-norm. In poetry though, I could become Oscar Wilde and Maya Angelou, taking on their plights and their triumphs. I could escape into Neruda’s wistfulness or Hughes’ sentimentality. I could, for a brief period, remove myself from my own reality, rife with incessant existential questioning, and place myself in another, divining from the diction and structure a sort of psychoysis to be applied to my conscientious understanding of human interaction.
When I was first assigned a poetry recitation in American Literature, I didn’t realize it would change my outlook forever. Eagerly, I seized the opportunity to express myself openly through poetry. Hing shied away from theatre for fear of being categorized or negatively conceived, I readily accepted the challenge to explore my emotional and performative range. The recitation competition called Poetry Out Loud asks students to memorize poems and recite them in such a way which reveals their deeper meanings. I felt ready. I got to the regional-level competition during sophomore year, and my elation and excitement about the mere existence of this program resulted in my pursuant interest. At last, I found a medium, a wide-reaching community of support through which I might finally come to understand the purposes and effects of my struggles. Poetry allowed me to truly observe the wires in which we entangle ourselves and cemented the idea that I had for so long ignored: everyone shares struggles, be they large or small, and life is a quest to overcome them.
With junior year came the guidance of incredible and supportive mentors that led me to that stage in Washington, D.C. where I won third place nationally in the Poetry Out Loud recitation competition. I had never felt so accomplished and bursting with resolution. To myself, even if to no one else, I proclaimed resolutely that I am Latino, I am bisexual, I am unafraid, and I am intellectually charged with finding how best to help others who he faced doubts similar to those I had. Surrounded by the diversity and fiery passion of fellow solace-seekers, I began to undo the ties in which I’d confined myself.
五年制其职书评
自由选择篇文章隐喻的最大挑战之一是确定您要个人的素材与您努力旁观者洞察您的素材之间的区别于。
在我超过 15 年所大学核发文稿的阅念中都,他们中都的大多数只是个人其他核发之外中都提供者的个人信息。 这位核发人不仅个人了他们对诗歌日益增长的钟爱,而且还尽力我们洞察了他们所在全世界的许多细微差别。
通过这一段话,与此相关第一段中都,我们系统地洞察了他们在努力适应同龄人的同时,与儒家文所谓和更为进一步身份的夺权。
通过亲身历程这些并不更为进一步的历程,的学生将白纸上的注解生成为一种并不人性所谓的体验,让旁观者能够关系并洞察他们是谁。
除了个人更为进一步历程和让旁观者与旁观者联结之外,还可以极好地利用他们的自然刺耳。太多次的学生看来需要移除大词并所致用作同义词库,而不是仅仅用作他们每天用作的第二语言。
你的脑力将通过你的履历和你的推荐来显示,所以从未必要用作你日常生活中都所做的任何第二语言。这是一篇优异的篇文章的主因在于它是单纯的,显示出一定的坚韧性,并突出了兴起的法学爱好。
最最主要的是,我看来这一段话不是为委员会的五年制顾问写出的,而是一种自我强调的基本上,突出了他们作为年轻人的更为进一步历险。
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文稿四:诗歌和文学作品可以提升你的文稿展现
Essay究竟:
Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you’ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.
ohHhh I uh umMm didn’t know
my aH parents n-never said they never tOld me
how was I supposed to…he eventually dropped the
impersonation comes from the Latin words into Andrew persona literally meaning into person. this man swallowed Andrew spit back her strangled voice as if it was stuttered, cracked, unworthy of its words.
parents can be blamed for things,
but teen girls can never accept responsibility he said.
maybe he thought my voice sounded like hers too Andrew maybe that’s why I didn’t ask a single question even when he did. he asked every ethnic person there what country they were from Andrew he said something like
driving is as dangerous as living in a war zone,
no offense to the people from Syria in the back of the room
I don’t know exactly, because I was whispering to
Kayleigh in the beginning was quiet. I whispered to her this is terrible because I could hear her small puffs of disbelief Andrew I realized she was the only person in the room I trusted, not even myself, because I was smiling Andrew laughing even when he made her come up as a voluntold Andrew he said to her that he always picked on the heiest girl in the class for this exercise, Andrew when she spoke her voice shook Andrew cracked Andrew did you know that it was me? That I was the voluntold? that I was so ashamed of circumstance I pretended it was Kayleigh? it died before it really came out, my voice, which has done impossible things, stood tall in courtrooms, refused to melt by the fireside as my family debated politics, raised itself from the gre when it needed to at cheap shots, at poetry slams, at two faces, my voice, this incredible thing, was reduced to speaking in
whispers seemed to catch his eye so we stopped eventually. something about needing that certificate, something about the power he had, something about how the guy who couldn’t speak English was calm in the corner… then Kayleigh whispered Trump 2020; I stood up. I calmly told this instructor off, I told him that he was ignorant, that he was wrong, that a sixteen-year-old teen girl knew more than he did. I left the class because I was strong enough to do it. I did, I really
did you know that I stayed until the end without so much as a word of justice? did you know it would be so easy to lie on this page? I crumpled my name tag when leing Andrew he said something like thanks or it was a pleasure but I ran quickly before his words could lick my skin again. I didn’t play music from empowering female artists on the way home because I was scared their lyrics had changed. I ran to my room, unreled in the closet, plugged my ears Andrew whispered I’m not real over Andrew over again listening to my body hack at itself Andrew I wondered how many calories I’d burn by crying Andrew I wondered why I wasn’t saying it is not real Andrew then I realized I was the monster in my
own closet. I was handed this legacy of justice from every woman in history’s bruised ribs, from the pounding of every gel’s demand, from the set of my mother’s jaw. this man, he had a bat that smacked out shame, but the blood I left on the carpet carried the rage of bloodlines; I
scream back.
五年制其职书评
篇文章指引的再一一句是“ of your own design”,虽然指引单独允许的学生提交和/或写出自己自由选择的篇文章,但指引间接允许的学生利用等价的空间进行谱写出。
创造性文学创作和其他美术作品一样,是由著者和旁观者共同要求的。有时这两个判别是一致的,而在另一些时候它们是相互竞争的,这是更为进一步概述的挑战之一;的学生应用创造性的基本上写出篇文章,比如诗歌、歌曲或右边的篇文章。每个的学生都要求了他们更为进一步概述的谱写出表现手法和朝向。
你的篇文章传统上是用第三段和文学作品写出的吗?或者你写出了一篇前行在谱写出道路上的篇文章,冒着旁观者对这段历险不熟悉的风险?让我完全一致一点:这个情况从未正确或错误的究竟。
也就是说, 在我为这一段话写出反馈的时候,谱写出朝向对这个的学生很有效。我们大多念这种文体的篇文章,虽然有风险,但却非常令人耳目一新,肤浅。
如果你的篇文章表现手法是单纯的,那就值得冒险。
这一段话我念了很多遍,每次都有新发现。有时,我会找寻前面情况的究竟。其他时候,我被还给更为多的情况,虽然在一个困惑的方式,而不是作家的抨击。
作为一个值得注意,我仍然在探讨在篇文章中都判别“滑稽”的目的。在这一段话中都,著者是不是在滑稽某人,也许是他们自己?或者这个自由选择只是为了给说教者降低一层额外的形态?
在文体上与众多种不同的是,这种更为进一步概述让你对引号、下标和依赖于大写出的标点下标(或依赖于标点下标)背后的意向性感到疑惑。从一个短语到另一个短语的回转微妙地允许时间流逝,每一个学说都以另一个开始而结束。
这个的学生有意利用埃默里所大学广受好评的创意文学创作授课。知道了这一点,探讨的表现手法和强调方式会产生诚挚的兴奋,探讨这个的学生下一步会做什么。
这种更为进一步概述值得多次推敲,信息化是它的表现手法和素材。 的学生的更为进一步概述是描绘出着自我宣传的一刻进行时的,是对女性自我管理的探究,也确实是对青少年焦虑的探究。
这个公众人物被用作更为快地洞察的学生的工具。被相信是软弱和不负责任的的学生,这一段话展示了他们的行动和第二语言的自信和用作自己的刺耳的力量。
对话的用作并从未破坏更为进一步概述的流畅性,相反,它有助于性别歧视和确实的仇外无意识的整体人格所谓。
这种非正统的方法确实不是每更为进一步都偏爱的表现手法。但是,归根结底,更为进一步概述对著者来说应是更为进一步的、单纯的,而不是为了抚慰旁观者而写出的。另外,这一段话立刻引起了你的注意,不是吗?
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文稿五:用作属性所谓所述来展示你的文学创作技巧
Essay究竟:
Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?
I he to admit, when I first read the song title “Moanin'”, I thought it had certain innuendos.
“Are you serious right now?” I stare across the table at Parker, a six foot five eleventh grader with long red hair that cascades down his shoulders, a spoon in one hand and phone in the other, diligently playing World of Warcraft. He reminds me of a princess, in the weirdest way, he’s so…dainty. I always laugh thinking about the juxtaposition between his looks and his personality.
He rolls his eyes, delicately rests his spoon on the bowl of mac and cheese, places both of his hands on the table, and looks at me pointedly in exasperation.
“Yes. You he to listen to it. ‘Moanin” is the greatest jazz song to ever exist.” A piece of cheese flies off his lip and hits my face. I flinch internally.
“As if. Not that kind of song. I’m honestly disgusted, Parker.” He gasps in feigned shock, like we hen’t had this conversation 200 times before this moment and I try not to laugh.
“First of all, it’s not even about that. Second, you’re listening to it.” As he goes back to playing his game, I am left to ponder: How great could this song possibly be?
I know now that “Moanin'” by Art Blakey and the Jazz Messengers might just be the greatest jazz record to ever exist. When those drums hit after the first chorus, they hit different.
I’ve always known that I love jazz. However, it never occurred to me how difficult it was to explain until I was attacked with the question: “What’s so great about jazz?” Suddenly, I was speechless. Why am I so drawn to jazz? After all, I am originally a classically trained musician. But once jazz entered my life (in the form of the godlike, ethereal Kenny G), I’ve never been the same.
In an attempt to answer this question that plagued me, I began listing out all the traits about jazz that I love: its vibrance, unpredictability, ever-changing nature, spontaneity, and yet its ability to be soul wrenchingly emotional. Suddenly, the answer hit me like Art Blakey’s drum set on the opening chorus of “Moanin'”: I love jazz because jazz is me.
When I think of jazz, I think of colors. So many colors, like a thousand rainbows were poured into a blender, showered onto a page, and translated into music. I see that color in my personality. I’m vibrant and colorful, and sometimes expressive to the point where there are so many things happening at once it’s hard to take in. That’s how jazz is. I often find myself listening to the same jazz records over and over, discovering something new every time. I’m passionate and bold, I’m sassy like Lee Morgan’s trumpet solo on “‘Moanin'”. Jazz doesn’t apologize for what it is, it just is. Likewise, I’ve learned to be unapologetic in who I am.
Jazz is unpredictable and spontaneous. When flashes of inspiration come to me, I dance in my room until 2 AM on a school night, the adrenaline of doing something so extemporaneous is enough to keep me awake. Furthermore, as a jazz musician, I he developed a remarkable ability to adapt to rapidly changing circumstances.
But my forite thing about jazz, and my forite thing about myself, is that it is ever changing. I’ve always said that in jazz, you never play the same song twice. Who I am today is a product of years of changing, learning, growing and evolution. Like jazz, I don’t strive to be perfect, I just strive to be my most authentic self.
So why am I so drawn to jazz? I guess because I see it in myself, I hear myself in the way it’s played. That’s the beauty of finding music that fits you so well, it becomes you.
五年制其职书评
当我们花费数月时间阅念核发材料时,我们的团队试图在每个注解中都看到人性。 我们不想洞察我们的核发人,而核发的文学创作之外平常是我们可以做到毫无疑问的以外。
由于著者写出的是爵士乐,这个隐喻也许是毫无疑问感爱好的,我们能够从这些注解中都萃取特质。著者风度翩翩,通过生动活泼的讲解,我们可以不想象这个的学生在我们的校园社区中都。
而且,在整一段话中都,著者的文笔细腻开花结果,但依然直言不讳、脚踏实地。 这一段话念起来好像这个的学生正在和我们说话,个人一个关于与同龄人对话的童话故事。
在篇文章的后半之外,著者将他们对爵士乐的钟爱与他们的生活亲身历程融为一体。有时,的学生的公众人物和他们的特质之间的类比确实让人看来有些牵强。
然而,在这里,著者的尤其提供者了对他们的习惯上和不尝试的额外洞察。著者个人了核发材料中都其他以外从未的个人信息,例如他们的的组织和单纯性,更为不用说他们对摇滚乐本身的爱好。
我们在篇文章中都发现了这个核发人的爱好,并且通过这样做,能够更为全面地洞察这个核发人。
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文稿六:用你单纯的视角
Essay究竟:
Some students he a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
Over the past half-century, the crosswinds of social and economic change sweeping through Nebraska’s small towns he left me and my family, alongside many others across our state, straddling a tedious tightrope between the old and the new, the familiar and the foreign.
All my life, I’ve been shaped by the collision between the rural, small-town currents of my upbringing and the city-slicker world of tall buildings and traffic jams I’ve largely grown up in. By this, I don’t mean cornfields and mainstreets melting away under the pressures of urban expansion. I mean the collision between two vastly different worldviews—one deeply suspicious and distrustful of outsiders, manifested around me through my grandfather’s diatribes bemoaning the parasitism of immigrants or his deftness in dealing out words I’ve been taught to consider unspeakable, and the other warm and welcoming, centered around a household that counts inclusiveness as a primary virtue and has embraced the evolving nature of Nebraska’s identity.
To understand the tumult of emotions interwoven within this collision, it is critical to understand that, over the past several decades, rural blight has descended upon communities across Nebraska. As families like mine he emigrated to larger towns and cities in search of greater opportunity, rural populations he dwindled, and hospitals and businesses he shuttered. In addition—and particularly relevant to my experience of Nebraska’s rural crisis—a we of major demographic shifts he left many communities across my state broken and hurting. From Schuyler to O’Neill, from Lexington to Fremont, increasingly large international immigrant populations he been caught in the chokehold of a vehement and metastasizing nativism. This fervent anti-immigrant sentiment, rather than promoting some distorted idea of cultural integrity, has left entire communities—old blood and newcomer alike—under the weight of suffocating suspicion and hatred as unprepared school districts buckle and ambush-like ICE raids tear families apart. The situation in much of rural Nebraska, to put it bluntly, is dire.
And so, this summer, determined to glean a more complete understanding of this issue and its effects on my family, I treled to live and work on the family farm, which is managed primarily by my grandparents. The experience was instructive—in a time of trade wars and tariffs, I was reminded of the tremendous economic pressure under which farmers operate. But, far more eye-openingly, it ge me a new appreciation for the social and cultural strain bearing on rural Nebraska. For context, it is helpful to understand that the nearest town has undergone a transition from nearly homogeneously white to over 70 percent Hispanic in just the past three decades. Many evenings, as my grandparents and I sat down to supper, a soft vitriol would pervade the conversation as my grandparents exchanged worried comments about the new and burgeoning Sudanese population in town or the Mexicans working at the Cargill plant.
Welcome to racism in my world.
It’s soft, it’s private, and it’s the most barefaced form of racism I’ve ever encountered. It hurts me to know that two of the people I love and admire most in the world he been brought to hate their neighbors and blame them for the much broader issues facing rural America. It hurts me to know that many groups of people simply seeking security—people who, in fact, will likely prove vital to the survival of small-town Nebraska—are facing a chilling welcome in a state I am otherwise so deeply proud of.
Though prejudice might be stubborn, I am too. My writing on the subject has received national recognition, I care for refugee families through my school, I’ve corresponded with my elected representatives, and I’ve engaged in thoughtful, compassionate dialogue with my grandparents. It’s harder to hate people if you understand them, after all. I believe that education and reconciliation are vital to the recovery of my state and our broken communities, and I’m doing my best to facilitate, wherever I can, the beginning of this healing.
五年制其职书评
这一段话写出起来不容易。 对每更为进一步来说,家庭和家庭都是复杂的,尽管有些人比其他人更为复杂。
大多有人谈论自己持续发展过程的复杂性,更为大多有人想披露个人家中都晚餐时牵涉到的种族主义对话。然而,这不是一篇左派的篇文章。尽管用作了诸如家庭、爱情和敬佩之类的名词,这些名词常常强调一种亲近感,但著者还是写出了一篇看似不远的篇文章。
个人的每一条个人信息都经过计算和观测,以便旁观者对这个的学生的环境有一个并不具体的洞察。对内布拉斯加州农村的所述念起来就像政治经济同时代的话,不一定是你平均17岁的孩子。
著者开花结果而深思熟虑的语法无疑让这篇文稿;还有不少。“The crosswinds of social and economic change”和“the chokehold of a vehement and metastasizing nativism”。这些是毫无疑问有天赋的作家的短语,他们努力工作使每一个词都能产生影响。
这篇文稿中都我小时候的词是再一一句: healing。经过多次阅念,这一段话本可以有一个多种不同的,确实更为完全一致,转向。相反,我相信著者为这种不远的语调提供者了一种断言,他们也在康复。
以上就是以前给大家个人的6篇核发埃默里所大学的文稿,努力对接下来你的文稿谱写出有所尽力。努力在文稿方面有所提升的老师也可以和SAT贞传递个人信息。
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